Monday, April 4, 2016



I started to write that I had no idea how to raise a tiny person into an empathetic and wonderful human being.

That's only partially true.

Wait. Fuck that.  It's not true at all.  I have, for pretty much all my years, been regulated or resigned myself to words of self doubt.  Here's the truth.  I am a fucking awesome parent.  So is my adult partner in this madness, although he is more consistently filled with self doubt than I am. 

More on how society, how culture fucks up and fucks with dads later. Maybe way later.

Here's the thing.  The most basic thing.  It's brought to us by a father you should look into if you don't know.  Wheaton's law: Don't be a dick.  Although, I question myself with that phrase.  Should a body part, one I don't have, be used by me as an insult?  I say it, and I mean the sentiment behind it, but I feel like an asshole so I should probably change it to my new Inclusive Wheaton's Law: "Don't be an asshole."  Or even better, and older, "Be excellent to each other." 

Anyway, the best way I know how to be a parent is to be aware of other peoples' struggles.  To say hey, I see you.  How can I best be supportive of you in this moment?  As a parent, sometimes you FEEL it, what your wee one needs. 

What's amazing is how much you learn about the human capacity to have a fucking meltdown when they are hungry or fucking exhausted.  You also can learn a lot about yourself and the need to address the simple needs of hunger/sleep before they reach crisis mode.  TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TOO, YO.

And, when you see someone in crisis, don't correct them, don't shout at them to calm down (unless you have the sort of relationship where that works for both of you), DO NOT THREATEN THEM WITH SPANKINGS that shit teaches no good lessons.  Get them to look at you, to see you, to breathe with you and tell them it's gonna be ok, that you have got this, together.

Honestly tho, I'm just making this shit up as I go.

I love you.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Research and Upgrade

Hey everybody.
There's a prebuzz in the air.  I say prebuzz because the bees are mostly asleep still this strange February.
Spiders and ants are getting an early start.  ... great  ...
Anyway, I hope to become more disciplined in all things creative, and by that I mean I hope to create more things.

I have a plan.  Somewhat nebulous, but details will work themselves out, right?

1. GET RID OF SHIT.  I have too much I have been hoarding, and really my stuff has been owning me.  This is going to be the spring and summer of free cycle, free piles, and sharing with my neighbors.

2. Update consistently.  Think about my plan.  I've never been a five year kind of planner.  But I need that.  My family needs that.  Maybe write updates here or in an "analog" format.

3. Decorate our neighborhood and get involved.  Yeah, our neighborhood school isn't great, but nobody is going to fix that except us.

4. Make stuff.

6. Profit.  Work part time.  Go back to school for BSN / labor studies.  Share.  Rebuild.  Fight.  Balance. 

Good plan, eh?

Friday, November 27, 2015

Friday, August 28, 2015

Giant sunflowers

I believe this is a Russian Mammoth Sunflower.  Large faces, large purple shells, good sized seeds.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Crockpot Blueberry Syrup

So this is a fail.
Too damn sweet.
Still edible though.

5 c fresh blueberries
2 c sugar
7 vodka soaked vanilla beans
2 tbsp lemon juice

Cook all together in a crockpot on high for 3 hrs.  Keep the crockpot in the basement because it is stupid hot right now.  100 degrees in THIS town?  Yowza.  Take the lid off and cook on high for 30 more minutes to thicken.
Mash with a potato masher.
Pull the vanilla beans out.
Eat it on ice cream.
Regret adding 2 c sugar.
Decide to try some with vodka after this episode of True Detective, or maybe just knit and try on the syrup on pancakes in the morning.
And next time mayyyybe 0.5 cups sugar.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Spring Garden Shopping List

I need a lot of things, actually.

seed starting mix
balanced fertilizers
bone meal

hmmm not so bad